What Is Sexy? And Why Does It Look So Different for Everyone?

What is sexy?

I have been thinking about that question a lot lately, especially after something I saw recently that really made me stop and think about the way we see ourselves, the way we see other women, and how much of our idea of “sexy” has been shaped by the images we see every day.

Because when did sexy become a one-size-fits-all type thing? When did we decide that you had to look a certain way, have a certain body, or be a certain age before you could be considered sexy?

Something That Made Me Stop and Think

Recently, a well-known boudoir photographer/educator who is also very vocal about inclusivity shared something, after being asked to judge a boudoir photography competition she was sharing what she was seeing.

Out of 100 images, there were only six plus-size bodies represented, with two of those images coming from the same shoot. There were only four bodies of color represented, and there were no visibly disabled bodies represented.

Wow. It has made me pause and think about the images we see over and over again and how those images can shape what we believe is beautiful or sexy.

And then I started thinking about my own work. When someone finds my website or lands on my social media, who is seeing themselves in my images?

That question really stuck with me.

What Does Sexy Actually Look Like?

I think one of the coolest things, is that there isn't one answer!! Sexy can look like a million different things because we aren't all supposed to look the same.

Maybe sexy is curves, or maybe it's being tiny, maybe it's the confidence that comes with getting older and finally caring a whole lot less about what everyone else thinks. Or perhaps it's your stretch marks, tattoos, scars, soft belly, strong arms, gray hair, postpartum body, or simply feeling comfortable in your own skin for the first time in a long time.

And maybe sexy is just being able to look at yourself without immediately finding something you want to change. (THISSSSSS RIGHT HERE!!)

That is what I love about boudoir. There isn't one way to do it, there isn't one way to look, and there certainly isn't one body that gets to claim the word “sexy.”

This Got Me Thinking About My Own Portfolio

I know there are women who look through boudoir photography and immediately start comparing themselves to the women they see. I know because I have been that woman.

You see someone else's body and start making a mental list of all the things you think you need to change before you could ever imagine getting in front of a camera.

Maybe you're too big, too old, too curvy, not curvy enough, or you don't look like the women you see photographed.

So I started thinking about the women I want to see represented in my own portfolio.

I want women to see different ages, different bodies, different skin tones, different personalities, and different stories. I want someone to find my work and see a woman who looks a little bit like her and think, “Maybe I could actually do this.”

And That's Where My Model Call Comes In

This is a big part of why I decided to run my current model call.

I'm specifically looking for women who aren't represented as much in my current portfolio because I want more women to be able to see themselves in my work.

This isn't about replacing the beautiful women who are already represented in my portfolio. It's simply about making room for more stories, more bodies, more ages, more skin tones, and more versions of what beautiful and sexy can look like.

I want my portfolio to reflect the women I want to serve, because I never want someone to look at my work and decide that boudoir isn't for her simply because she doesn't see herself represented.

And honestly, this has reinvigorated something in me. It has reminded me why I started doing this in the first place.

I don't photograph women because I think they need to be transformed into some ideal version of themselves. I photograph women because I love watching them discover something about themselves that they may have forgotten was there.

Learn more and Apply for the Model Call!

So, What Is Sexy?

I don't think there is one answer. I think sexy is personal, and I think it changes as we change. What one woman feels sexy in may be completely different from what another woman feels sexy in, and I think that's exactly how it should be.

Sexy doesn't need to be a certain size, a certain age, or look like the woman next to you. It doesn't require you to become someone you're not.

If you've been looking at my work and wondering whether you would fit in here, I hope you can start to see that there really is a place for you here, because I don't believe you should have to change your body, your age, your size, your skin, or anything else about yourself before you get to experience what it feels like to be seen as beautiful.

You don't have to know how to pose, either. You don't need modeling experience, and you don't need to walk into my studio already feeling confident. That's where I come in. I'll guide you through the whole thing, help you figure out your poses and angles, and probably remind you a thousand times that you're doing WAY better than you think you are.

My job isn't to turn you into someone else.

My job is to help you see you.

Maybe that's what sexy really is. Maybe it's not about fitting a definition at all. Maybe it's about finally realizing that you get to define it for yourself.

And I want my camera to keep showing women that there is no single way to be beautiful, feminine, or sexy.

There is just your way.

And I think that's pretty damn beautiful.

Keep SHINING!!!

Crystal
Crystalized Photography

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